Hey my Galentine Babes 💌

It’s already Valentine’s week, and I can’t believe we’re already in the second week of February.

The shortest month of the year is somehow also moving the fastest.

As I sit here writing this week’s blog, I’m reminded that winter is still here — but it’s also quietly gliding by.

January in the Midwest has been bitterly cold. The kind of cold that bites. The kind that forces you to slow down whether you want to or not. And with all that has been going on in the world, it’s felt heavy internally.

Like most of us who live in the Midwest (or anywhere cold), winter often comes with dread. Putting away the open-toe shoes. Dressing in extra layers. Covering up our hands from the cold. Dealing with constant dry skin (all the darn lotion I’ve used up 😅).

I’ve never liked winter.

And yet — this year feels different.

The more present I am, the more contained I feel, the more aligned I become, the more I find myself loving winter.

I love the darkness.
I love the cold.

Why?

Because it helps me sleep.
It invites coziness.
And honestly — it helps me regulate.

While people are dreaming about beaches and warmer places (I don’t blame y’all! ☀️), and escapism, I truly get it. I would love that too. And yet, I find myself vibing with the cool, contained stillness of winter.

For me, there is something deeply grounding about a warm cup of coffee in the morning, sitting on my therapy couch, taking a few minutes of silence, and allowing my internal dialogue to surface.

I remember this past summer when my two nieces stayed with me — 12 and 15 years old. They kept asking how I could live such a “boring life.” One of them even asked, “But how do you feel during winter when it’s snowing? Wouldn’t that make you bored and lonely?”

Mind you, that summer was hella hot. And the thought of being cold, cozy, and comfortable brought me so much peace. I imagined a weekend morning with coffee, sweatpants, a blanket, and my Kindle — and I was giddy just thinking about it.

When I told them that, they said, “You’re weird.”

Luckily, my self-esteem can hold the judgments of teenage girls with strong opinions. 😌

There is beauty in winter once I allowed myself to see beyond the cold, slush, ice, and all the unforgivable things that make it harsh.

There’s something grounding about it.
Something honest.
Something stabilizing.

Over the last two years, I’ve written blogs about how to be a cool lady in the summer and how to embrace the cozy slowing down in the fall — but I’ve never written about winter.

I’ve never written about what it means to embrace winter as an aligned woman.
As a sovereign woman.

Winter, February, and Valentine’s week all orbit the same theme for me this year: love rooted in alignment and acceptance.

And when I say acceptance, I don’t mean resignation.
I don’t mean giving up.
I don’t mean there’s no room for growth.

You will always be challenged. There will always be ways to stretch, refine, or choose differently — if you want to.

But acceptance says: I am allowed to be okay right here.

I accept where I am.
I accept how I am — right now.
And if there are things I need or want to change, I trust myself enough to change them when the time is right.

Winter teaches this gently.

It reminds us that being settled is not the same as being stuck.
That moving slowly is not the same as falling behind.
That peace and containment are not failures — they’re forms of wisdom.

This is what alignment feels like to me.

Not urgency.
Not self-criticism disguised as motivation.
Not forcing progress for the sake of appearances.

Alignment is being rooted.
Being present.
Being at peace with your own rhythm.

How to Be an Aligned Woman in Winter (When the World Feels Loud)

Before I even get into this, let me say something clearly:

There is a lot happening in the world right now.

Waking up every day to political chaos, instability, cultural division, and constant headlines is exhausting. It’s heavy. It’s disorienting.

So if winter already feels hard, and you’re layering that on top of a national or global shit show — of course you’re tired.

It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling.

This is not about bypassing reality.
This is not about pretending everything is fine.
This is not about slapping “self-care” over systemic stress.

What I’m about to share is for the moments when you do have a little capacity. When you’re clear enough. Present enough. Able enough.

Alignment is not a performance. It’s a practice.

Here are a few ways I practice being an aligned woman in winter:

Regulate before you romanticize.

For so long, I dreaded winter and questioned why I lived in one of the coldest and snowiest states in this country.

I’ve come to realize: winter isn’t the enemy, and neither is your exhaustion.

Winter can be the perfect time to stabilize your nervous system. Sleep more if you can. Reduce input and output. Turn off what doesn’t need to be on.

Sometimes the darkness gives permission that the light doesn’t.

Containment is not stagnation.

Winter is about stillness.

Being in alignment means you don’t have to bloom right now. You don’t have to be inspired. You don’t have to be expansive.

Some seasons are for rooting — and rooting is invisible work.

Protect your peace deliberately.

You know what else I love about winter? REST. 🙌

Most of you know I come from a large family with lots of events. After the holidays, winter is when I rest and protect my peace the most.

Protecting my energy isn’t avoidance — it’s boundaries. It’s knowing my capacity.

Reduce unnecessary arguments. Reduce unnecessary exposure. Remember: your time, brain-cells, and energy are part of your wealth. Peace is not accidental.

Love yourself in practical ways.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, we’ve got to talk about LOVE. 💕

Not the sappy kind (eww… j/k 😏).

I’m talking about your self-love.

Yes, buy the flowers. Book the massage. But go deeper.

So many of us are caretakers — for our kids, parents, teams, families — and we forget ourselves.

Remind yourself to do one act of self-love for you. It might be as small as keeping a promise to yourself without guilt.

Accept where you are without dramatizing it.

You can want change and still honor your current capacity. You can crave warmth and still function in the cold.

Alignment is not urgency.

It’s honesty and living in your truth.

Now, I know some of you are still going to say:

“But Poiab! I detest winter! I can’t wait for summer where I can move, get out of my house, and not sit around!”

And if winter feels unbearable, ask yourself gently:

Is it the cold?
Or is it the stillness?

Is it the darkness?
Or is it what surfaces when everything slows down?

Winter doesn’t create discomfort.

It reveals what’s already there.

And sometimes that revelation isn’t aesthetic. It’s uncomfortable. It’s inconvenient. It forces us to sit with things we’ve been outrunning.

Here’s something I’ve realized in my own life:

The more control I’ve gained over my life, the more I’ve grown to appreciate winter.

When I dreaded winter in the past, I had less agency. Less autonomy. Less ownership over my time and choices.

Winter felt like something happening to me.

Now it feels like something I move within.

Some of us have more control right now. Some of us are working toward that. Both are valid.

But winter forces all of us into one thing:

Stillness.
Presence.
Time with ourselves.

And if that feels unbearable — if the cold and darkness feel heavier than weather — it’s worth asking why.

Winter doesn’t create discomfort.

It reveals it.

And that revelation, uncomfortable as it may be, is also a doorway to deeper alignment.

For a long time — especially when I was younger — there was a patronizing narrative attached to Valentine’s Day for women who weren’t partnered.

That if you weren’t in a relationship, you must hate Valentine’s Day.
That you must feel sorry for yourself.
That you must secretly envy everyone else.

That narrative is deeply misogynistic.

It assumes a woman’s worth, fulfillment, and emotional stability are dependent on being chosen by someone else.

But something shifts as women grow into themselves.

As we find our voices.
As we become comfortable with who we are.
As self-love stops being a concept and starts becoming lived.

We realize something quietly radical:

Having ourselves is enough.

And once you find peace — real peace — you begin to ask a different question:

Who deserves access to this?

That, too, is self-love.

Not loud.
Not defensive.
Not bitter.

Just clear.

Until next time,

Empress darlings.

No crowns.
No performance.
Just alignment.