Don’t Let Them Stomp On Your Garden!

Happy first week of August! 

My oh my! We are officially in the eighth month of the year already and of course, it’s Leo Season!  Happy Birthday to

 all my fiery and bold Leos! ♌️🔥

 As I mentioned before in my previous blog, I’ve got the most Leos in my family and it’s been lots of 🎂. It’s especially fun with all the kiddos that I have in the family and quite honestly, I love all the cake. Strangely, I used to be so conscious about eating cake. Now? IDGAF. For me now, it’s all about moderation and enjoying myself. Life is too short to deprive myself of joy! 

My last two weeks have been interesting! In the last week of July, we celebrated and had a graduation party for my  oldest nephew. Of course, that weekend was hotter than hades. It reminded me of our cabin trip when we, of course, went on the hottest weekend in June. Both weekends were in the mid 90’s. Yuck! 

We’ve also unfortunately also inherited the smoke from the forest fires from Canada,  which has really impacted our air quality here in the upper midwest. I think this along with the busy and productive weeks I’ve had, contributed to me having a sore throat, made it difficult for me to speak, and also which limited my energy. I made the decision last week to give myself permission to rest because again, I’ve learned the hard way of what happens to me when I don’t rest! 

During the last weekend of July, my parents came up to help prepare for the graduation party. Like a typical Hmong mother who gardens, she brought all the nourishment from her garden to feed not only her kids but to also share with others. Her garden is plentiful and full of bloom. She cherishes her garden like her other babies (she also raises chickens). She loves it, waters it, and nourishes it daily. 

I remember as a child when I was forced to go help her garden, she would always be disappointed when I accidentally stepped on her baby plants or when I accidentally mistaken one of her vegetable plants for a weed. As a child, I would shrug and say “it’s just a plant.” 

Ooof! Girl, was I wrong! Now, as an adult, I understand why she cherished all of her plants so much. To my mother, her garden was sacred. It was where she dug up the dirt, planted the seeds, watched it bloom, and the life fed and nourished her family. There is soul in her garden and to witness life be taken for granted, can be disappointing. 

You’ve probably guessed by now that a garden is a metaphor for life. How a garden is full of life and soul. You give it love, light, and water to ensure that it blossoms to its full potential. But you also have to be careful who you invite to your garden. Like the unintentional careless child I was, I accidentally stomped on my mother’s garden. In response, she was disappointed but also taught me to be careful and to learn the difference between a plant and a weed as both mirrored each other to confuse me. 

Ladies, the unfortunate truth is, there comes a time in your growth when you realize: not everyone deserves access to your garden. Some will “accidentally” stomp in your garden and others will intentionally sabotage the fruits of your labor. 

Your garden, which is  your peace, your energy, your healing, your ideas, your progress — is sacred. And just like a real garden, it takes time, patience, intention, and care to cultivate. You water it with hard-earned lessons. You pull the weeds of self-doubt and fear. You plant seeds of purpose, possibility, and truth.

And then… someone walks through without wiping their feet.

They criticize what you're growing. They question your process. They offer “feedback” rooted in insecurity. Or worse — they try to convince you that your garden isn’t worth protecting at all.

But here’s the truth:

Not everyone deserves front-row access to your evolution. 

First, let’s understand why we allow people in our garden in the first place: 

Why We Let People Stomp Around

Sometimes we confuse being kind with being unguarded.
We want to be seen, heard, understood. So we let people into our inner space — even when they haven’t earned the right to be there.
We allow old patterns, unhealed people, or toxic energies to dictate what blooms and what withers. But letting someone trample your garden doesn’t make you generous — it makes you disconnected from your boundaries.

Secondly, 

Your Growth Deserves Protection

Growth isn’t just about pushing forward. It’s also about discerning what needs to be shielded from harm.

Think about it:
You wouldn’t leave the gates of a real garden wide open and invite anyone to walk through. You’d be selective. You’d know the value of what you’re tending.

Now, let’s move onto why you need to protect your garden and how you can prevent others from stomping on your garden: 

•  Know What Your Garden Is: Before you can protect your garden, you have to define what it includes: Is it your peace of mind? Your healing and growth?
  Your energy, values, and priorities? Your time and boundaries?  Your dreams, projects, and creative work? You have to get clarity about what consists of your garden. Once you're clear on what matters most, you’ll be more aware when something (or someone) threatens it.
• 
   Build Clear Boundaries: Yep! My favorite B word! We cannot have a weekly blog that does not discuss the B word. Why? Because a garden without a gate is open to all kinds of damage. You’ll likely have uninvited people and all sorts of creatures that will have access to your garden. The same goes for your personal space. It’s essential to set boundaries around your time, energy, and emotional availability. If someone consistently leaves you feeling drained, disrespected, or doubting yourself — that’s a sign.
• 
  

🌿A reminder, boundaries don’t have to be confrontational. They can sound like:

• “I’m not available for that kind of conversation.”
  
  
• “I’m focusing on things that bring me peace right now.”
  
  
• “That doesn’t align with where I’m headed.”
  
  

•  Stop Giving Unqualified People Access: Here’s the reality:  Not everyone deserves front-row access to your evolution!  So be intentional about who you let into your sacred space — especially during times of growth or healing.

Having difficulty deciding who gets access and who doesn't? 

✨Ask YOURSELF: 

• Do they respect my boundaries?
  
  
• Do they add value or chaos?
  
  
• Do I feel safe, supported, or inspired around them?
  
  

If not, it may be time to move them outside the gate and LOCK IT. 

•  Clean Up Internalized Footprints: Sometimes, the people who stomped on your garden left behind more than damage — they left doubt, shame, or fear. But don’t let those dirty, muddy, footprints sear your soul. 

🌱Healing means:

• Unlearning the lies they planted.
  
  
• Reaffirming your right to take up space, change, and grow.
  
  
• Replacing criticism with compassion.
  
  
• Weed out what no longer belongs. Replant what feels true to you.

•  Speak Up, Even When It's Uncomfortable:  A big part of protecting your garden is learning how to say:

🌻“That hurt me.”

☘️“This doesn’t work for me anymore.”

🪻“I need space.”

✨Silence often invites repeat behavior. But clarity creates freedom — for both you and them.

•  Remember: This Is Your Garden 👒 

You are not required to let everyone walk through it.
You are not “mean” for having standards.
You are not difficult for having needs.

You’re allowed to:

• Say NO.
  
  
• Lock the gate.
  
  
• Take up space.
  
  
• Redesign what’s planted.
  
  

Darling, you are the gardener, not the groundskeeper for other people’s mess. Remember that! 

 There you go Babes. A final reminder, stopping people from stomping on your garden starts with believing it’s worth protecting. You have to believe that the life you are seeding and growing is worth it! If you don’t, you’re opening the gate wide open to have it be stomped on. 

🌺 Ladies, your garden is the most sacred space. This is where you are growing into your truest self —  ONE BOUNDARY, ONE SEED, ONE BLOOM AT AT TIME.  With  LIGHT, LOVE, AND WATER-IT WILL RISE, BE ROOTED, AND BE RADIANT. SO, PROTECT YOUR GARDEN MY LOVES. 🌷